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In this episode, we understand the nuances of man-woman communication in ancient Tamil land, as portrayed in Sangam Literary work, Natrinai 263, penned by Ilaveyinanaar. The verse is set in the coastal regions of ‘Neythal’ and speaks in the voice of the confidante to the lady, conveying a hidden message to the man, listening nearby.
பிறை வனப்பு இழந்த நுதலும், யாழ நின்
இறை வரை நில்லா வளையும், மறையாது
ஊர் அலர் தூற்றும் கௌவையும், நாண் விட்டு
உரை அவற்கு உரையாம்ஆயினும், இரை வேட்டு,
கடுஞ் சூல் வயவொடு கானல் எய்தாது,
கழனி ஒழிந்த கொடு வாய்ப் பேடைக்கு,
முட முதிர் நாரை கடல் மீன் ஒய்யும்
மெல்லம் புலம்பற் கண்டு, நிலைசெல்லாக்
கரப்பவும் கரப்பவும் கைம்மிக்கு,
உரைத்த-தோழி!-உண்கண் நீரே.
Opening with ‘பிறை வனப்பு இழந்த நுதலும்’ meaning ‘a forehead that has lost its beauty, akin to the crescent moon’, the poem hints at the havoc, pining causes in a woman’s appearance, as perceived then. On the same frequency, we see ‘இறை வரை நில்லா வளையும்’ meaning ‘bangles that do not stop at the wrists’ indicating poetically how the lady’s arms have thinned down much, to cause her bangles to slip and fall. Pining seems to be the perfect thing that weight-loss experts would prescribe today! Returning to the past, we see the ‘town spreading slander’ in ‘ஊர் அலர் தூற்றும்’. The phrase ‘நாண் விட்டு உரை அவற்கு உரையாம்’ conceals significant information about how men and women seem to have interacted then, which we will explore in detail shortly. This interesting term ‘கடுஞ் சூல் வயவொடு’ talks about ‘pregnancy cravings’ – some things that are timeless indeed! The phrase ‘கரப்பவும் கரப்பவும் கைம்மிக்கு’ is pregnant with intense emotion meaning ‘even though you hide and hide, it breaks open’. Ending with ‘உண்கண் நீரே’, ‘tears from kohl-streaked eyes’, the verse fills us with feeling. Time to take a longer walk on this shore and learn more!
The man and lady had been leading a love relationship, and the man seemed to be intent only on trysting with the lady. The confidante decides to convey to him, the seriousness of the situation. When he arrives one day to the lady’s house, pretending not to notice him, but making sure he’s in earshot, the confidante turns to the lady and says, “Your forehead has lost its crescent-like beauty; your bangles do not stop where they should; open slander is being spread all around town. Yet, on account of shyness, you do not express all this in words to him, the lord of the gentle shores, in whose domain, a mature, male stork captures a fish from the sea and carries it to its female with a curved beak, the craving-filled pregnant one, which comes not to the backwaters to hunt. Even though you do not tell your pain aloud and try to hide and hide from him, it bursts forth and talks to him as the tears from your kohl-streaked eyes!” With these words, the confidante conveys to the man that the lady is likely to be placed in the house under guard and therefore, he must seek the lady’s hand in marriage.
Now, let’s delve into the details! The confidante first talks about how the man’s behaviour is causing unsavoury changes in the lady’s appearance and life. First, the beauty of the lady’s forehead, which used to glow with the beauty of the crescent moon, is now fading away. I wonder why the forehead was such an important object of beauty to those ancients! Then, the confidante talks about bangles that slip and fall, an oft-occurring symptom in the affliction of pining. Finally, the confidante mentions the root cause of all this trouble, the slanderous town which seems to be gossiping about the lady’s relationship with the man. Although so much trouble is afoot, owing to the innate shyness in the lady, she says no word to the man. The confidante, after mentioning these facts of the now, turns to describe the man’s domain with a scene from nature. Here, we see a pregnant stork, looking with yearning at the distant seas, and yet not opening its wings to fly out there. Just then, its mate, a strong, male stork arrives there, clutching a catch of fish in its beak and offers this with love to the waiting female. After ending this description, the confidante concludes saying that however hard the lady tries to hide her pain from the man, it would fall as tears from her eyes and convey it all!
In that picturesque scene of a seabird, craving to relish fish and yet taking no steps to acquire it, the confidante illustrates the state of the lady, who is unable to express what she wants, to the man. However, like the male stork that understands its mate’s cravings and offers its catch with love, the confidante implies that the man too must render precious offerings to the lady’s kith and kin and claim the lady’s hand in marriage. Returning to that phrase, which talks about how shyness prevents the lady from expressing her troubles to the man, we perceive how women were forbidden by etiquette to directly convey their inner angst and demand a resolution from their men. There’s so much troubling the lady and yet, she does not say a single word to the man. If this is an accurate reflection of how men and women interacted then, life does seem tough from our perspective. In our complicated world, we cannot imagine living this life of silence with our companions. Perhaps, life was simpler then and words were unnecessary to explain the troubles of the heart. As this poem portrays, a single tear might sing the tale entire!
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