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In this episode, we empathise with an emotion, expressed with an arresting image, as portrayed in Sangam Literary work, Kurunthogai 58, penned by Velliveethiyaar. Set in the mountains of ‘Kurinji’, the verse speaks in the voice of the man to his friend, in response to the friend’s rebuke about the man’s behaviour.
இடிக்கும் கேளிர்! நும் குறை ஆக
நிறுக்கல் ஆற்றினோ நன்று மன் தில்ல;
ஞாயிறு காயும் வெவ் அறை மருங்கில்
கை இல் ஊமன் கண்ணின் காக்கும்
வெண்ணெய் உணங்கல் போலப்
பரந்தன்று, இந் நோய்; நோன்று கொளற்கு அரிதே!
The sight of something melting fills our eyes in this one! The verse opens with an address in the words ‘இடிக்கும் கேளிர்’ meaning ‘scolding friend’ and the adjective has no doubt revealed the action the person was indulging in. ‘If I could stop’ shouts the phrase ‘நிறுக்கல் ஆற்றினோ’ and proclaims the inability to do so! Summer is arriving where I live and in this Sangam world too, we sense ‘the scorching sun’ in ‘ஞாயிறு காயும்’. True to the landscape, the term ‘வெவ் அறை’ brings before us, ‘a hot rock’. A physical portrait of a person arises in ‘கை இல் ஊமன்’, referring to ‘a mute with no arms’. From a person, the verse turns to food and talks about ‘வெண்ணெய் உணங்கல்’ or ‘butter melting’. Ending with the words ‘நோன்று கொளற்கு அரிதே’ meaning ‘it’s hard to bear’, the verse invites us to listen to the man’s words.
‘If only I could’ starts the verse and ends with ‘I can’t bear’ – What could be the story within? The context reveals that the man had met the lady and fallen in love with her. The lady too, seemed to reciprocate his feelings. However, after their first union, the man finds no opportunity to be with her and this fills him with angst. Seeing his confused state, his friend scolds him saying that the man’s behaviour was not appropriate at all. To this friend, the man says, “My rebuking friend, if I could stop doing what you blame me for, that would be good! Standing near a sun-scorched, burning rock, an armless mute guards butter with just his eyes. Akin to how that butter would melt away, this affliction spreads through me and makes it impossible for me to bear!” With these words, the man tells his friend that he finds it hard to overcome his feelings for the lady and that the friend’s chiding was of no help!
The man seems to be going through much! Let’s delve into his heart by listening intently. Starting with a direct reply to the friend’s censure, the man says that he too wishes to avoid being in the state that makes his friend scold him so. That would be ideal, the man declares. Adding a ‘but’ to this statement, the man proceeds to speak what’s in his heart by transporting us to a spot near a hot rock, stoked by the sun above. Near this spot, stands a person, without arms, and who, the man tells us, is mute. He seems to be guarding something on the rock with only his eyes. Zooming on to the tragedy of the situation, the man points to a block of butter on that rock, in the process of melting away. Why is it melting away? Because the person near the rock is neither able to take it elsewhere with his arms nor is he able to shout out for help to someone around. Freezing on that image of melting butter, the man says that that’s exactly how the affliction called love is spreading all through him and making it impossible for him to take it any longer!
Using the image of a limbless, mute person guarding a block of melting butter, the man has captured his sense of extreme helplessness. There is nothing to do but be with that melting pain, the man seems to tell his friend. This friend has been approaching the situation only from a logical angle of the right way for a man to behave and has failed to see the emotional aspect of it. Revealing that aspect, the man seems to tell his friend there was no use in just scolding him and telling him not to be in that state, but instead to do something to aid him in his affliction. Hearing this, perhaps the friend would seek to convince the lady’s confidante and the man would hopefully find the resolution for his affliction in the lady’s company! To me, the verse seems to point out to that action many of us may have taken with our friends and family. The one where we tell a person, ‘they shouldn’t do something or be in a certain way’. As the man’s words help us understand, just saying that is of no help. What would be better instead is, to listen to why that person is that way, and see the situation from their perspective, as illustrated in this striking lesson on empathy!
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