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In this episode, we perceive the crisis in a man’s parting, as depicted in Sangam Literary work, Kurunthogai 236, penned by Nariveroothalaiyaar. Set in the coastal regions of ‘Neythal’, the verse speaks in the voice of the confidante to the man, when he requests her to take care of the lady as he parts on a journey to gather wealth.
விட்டென விடுக்கும் நாள் வருக; அது நீ
நொந்தனை ஆயின், தந்தனை சென்மோ!-
குன்றத்தன்ன குவவு மணல் அடைகரை
நின்ற புன்னை நிலம் தோய் படு சினை
வம்ப நாரை சேக்கும்
தண் கடற் சேர்ப்ப!- நீ உண்ட என் நலனே.
‘Don’t you dare abandon her’ seems to be the hidden message here. The opening words ‘விட்டென விடுக்கும் நாள் வருக’ meaning ‘if the day you forsake her is to come’ speaks of a hypothetical situation. In ‘தந்தனை சென்மோ’ meaning ‘please give that and go’, we hear what sounds like a command. The quintessential elements of this landscape appear in ‘புன்னை’ referring to ‘a laurel wood tree’ and ‘நாரை’ referring to ‘a seabird’. Ending with the words ‘நீ உண்ட என் நலனே’ meaning ‘the health of mine that you savoured’, the verse appears to be an instance of the confidante speaking in the voice of the lady.
What is that the man must return before he leaves? The context reveals that the man and lady were leading a love relationship when the man decides to part away with the lady to gather wealth for their wedding. As he prepares to leave, he conveys his decision to the confidante and asks her to take care that the lady doesn’t lose her health in his absence. Hearing this, the confidante says, “If the day when you will forsake her forever were to come; if you can accept such an outcome, then please return that before you leave! Akin to peaks, stand sand mounds on the shore, where a ‘punnai’ tree soars, and on its branch that bends low to touch the ground, a newcomer seabird resides near the cool seas of your domain, O lord. I ask you to return her good beauty that you have relished!” With these words, the confidante hints that it would not be possible to prevent the lady from lamenting and also, conveys to the man that he must not let the lady go, no matter what!
Time to explore the nuances. The confidante starts by talking about a day in the future, a day when they learn that the man is not returning and that he has given up on the lady. She tells pointedly to the man that if he could accept such a future, then he must return something he took before he leaves. Instead of directly saying what that is the man must return, the confidante describes his cool shores, where sand dunes are heaped and look like little peaks, and here the ‘punnai’ grows and on one of its low-lying branches, a travelling seabird rests. After that scene in the seas, the confidante tells the man the thing to be returned is the health and beauty of the lady that he partook!
We have been puzzled and amused previously by this imagination of a man eating a lady’s beauty. It is a curious verb to describe a man-woman relationship indeed! What the confidante implies is that the man has taken away the health and beauty of the lady when they united. So, it’s ridiculous to ask the confidante to take care of those aspects when he was away, for according to her, these aspects of the lady part away with the man. She talks of an unthinkable future where the man won’t return and cautions the man that if he were to do that, it would be the end of the lady. Through this, the confidante sows the determination in the man to come back to his lady love, as soon as his mission of gathering wealth is complete. I find this to be a totally confusing situation. The man is leaving only to gather wealth for his wedding to the lady. It’s not like he’s taking a leisure trip in a beach island! The lady must understand the larger picture, shouldn’t she? But in situations like this, the confidante and lady speak as if the man’s parting away is something that cannot be borne with, even though they put so much thought in making the man think about marriage in the first place. It makes me want to ask to both the lady and the confidante, ‘what do you really want?’. In response, a wise voice within whispers, ‘Haven’t you ever been in this state of dilemma, where you want something but can’t bear the effort that it takes?’ With that seed, blooms the flower of empathy!
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