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In this episode, we learn of curious customs in courtship, as portrayed in Sangam Literary work, Kurunthogai 276, penned by Kozhi Kotranaar. Set in the mountains of ‘Kurinji’, the verse speaks in the voice of the man to himself, passing on a pointed message to the confidante, listening nearby.
பணைத் தோட் குறுமகள் பாவை தையும்,
பஞ்சாய்ப் பள்ளம் சூழ்ந்தும், மற்று-இவள்
உருத்து எழு வன முலை ஒளி பெற எழுதிய
தொய்யில் காப்போர் அறிதலும் அறியார்,
முறையுடை அரசன் செங்கோல் அவையத்து
யான் தற் கடவின் யாங்கு ஆவதுகொல்?
பெரிதும் பேதை மன்ற-
அளிதோதானே-இவ் அழுங்கல் ஊரே!
‘What might happen if I were to reveal the truth?’ asks a voice in this verse. The opening words ‘பணைத் தோட் குறுமகள்’ meaning ‘young maiden with bamboo-like thick arms’ bring to fore the oft-mentioned attribute of feminine beauty in Sangam Literature. In ‘பஞ்சாய்ப் பள்ளம் சூழ்ந்தும்’ meaning ‘stepping into the low-lying region where coco-grass grows’ talks about a type of grass celebrated in many ancient cultures for its medicinal value. ‘ஒளி பெற எழுதிய தொய்யில்’ meaning ‘thoyyil written to raise the radiance’ talks about the tradition of applying body art on the arms, shoulders and breasts of Sangam women, that we have come across in earlier Sangam poems too. The phrase ‘முறையுடை அரசன் செங்கோல் அவையத்து’ meaning ‘in the court of the righteous ruler who wields his sceptre’ paints a portrait of a just king. ‘A great ignorance’ is brought to light in ‘பெரிதும் பேதை’. Ending with the words ‘இவ் அழுங்கல் ஊரே’ meaning ‘this uproarious town’, the verse welcomes us to know more.
When we have heard ‘uproarious town’ before, didn’t it refer to slander and gossip about the lady’s relationship previously? What could it mean here? The context reveals that the man had met the lady and fallen in love with her and the lady too seemed to reciprocate his feelings. While things sound very positive, the man still had the challenge of winning the confidante’s confidence to further his relationship with the lady. When the man attempts to make his case to the lady’s confidante, she refuses his request to get closer with the lady. After the confidante’s refusal, while she remains close by, the man says as if to himself, “So as to stitch dolls for the young maiden with bamboo-like arms, I stepped into low-lying land, where coco-grass grows. Also, to make her uplifted, beautiful bosom even more radiant, I drew ‘thoyyil’ on her. But those who guard her know this not. If I seek the court of the just king with a righteous spectre and if I insist that she reveal everything, what would happen then? Filled with ignorance and to be pitied, isn’t it, this uproarious town?” With these words, the man mentions to the confidante how he will choose to reveal his relationship with the lady through the ritual of ‘madal eruthal’ if the confidante persisted with her refusals to the man’s requests.
That sounds like a threat, doesn’t it? Let’s explore why the man chooses this path in response. He starts by talking about how he stitched dolls for the young maiden with thick bamboo-like arms. I was shocked at one part of this statement and amused by the other. The part that shocked me was this habit of the man’s lady love playing with dolls. In today’s world, we associate dolls with little children. Perhaps, we shouldn’t see this with our modern eyes. Maybe, young girls then played with dolls for a long time, into their teens too, and so, reading her wishes, the man seems to have stitched a doll for the lady. It sounds to me like a gift of soft toys like teddy bears that I know some people love even as adults. Now, moving to the part that amused me – it was the reference to the lady’s arms as being ‘thick’. If you were to use the same expression today, eyebrows would be raised and you would be scolded for ‘fat-shaming’, whereas two thousand years ago, a woman’s arms being fleshy seems to have been a symbol of beauty!
Returning to the verse, we find the man then talking about how he stepped into some low-lying marshes to gather coco-grass, most probably used to stitch the lady’s doll he was just mentioning. When I was looking into the medicinal benefits of the grass, I learnt ‘Ayurvedic’ medicine prescribes this grass for ‘dysmenorrhea’, in simple terms, for the painful cramps that a woman experiences during her periods. And this got me thinking if the ancients somehow understood this particular medicinal benefit of the grass and whether that’s why it was made into dolls and presented to young girls then. Stepping away from such speculation back into the verse, we find the man talking about how he also spent time painting the lady’s graceful bosom with thoyyil art. He ends his list of activities by saying those who guard the lady seem not to know this, referring to none other than the confidante in this manner. Now, it becomes clear that he has spoken about these various facets to highlight to the confidante his intimacy with the lady.
Coming to the crux of the issue, he asks an open question wondering what would happen if he were to take his case to the just king’s court of justice and urge the lady to reveal her relationship with him. Then, he talks about their town calling it uproarious, one which is foolish and to be pitied. This may puzzle you about why the man is suddenly talking about the town irrelevantly. Once we think about it, the reason why is revealed. Even in the midst of his anger at the confidante’s refusal, the man has the culture not to direct insults at the confidante but to project it on their town, when he calls it foolish. Once the confidante hears these words, she will be filled with fear at the prospect of bringing dishonour to the lady and at the same time, realising the man’s closeness with the lady, she would relent and help fulfil the man’s requests. So much in the hands of a friend then! What should be the extent of faith in the wisdom and care of this confidante to entrust the lady’s life to her? While this level of control on a friend’s part may seem strange to us, even today, friends exert a powerful influence on who we are and who we become, whether we know it or not!
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