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In this episode, we observe how a lady tries to placate god’s fury, as depicted in Sangam Literary work, Kurunthogai 87, penned by Kabilar. The verse is situated in the mountains of ‘Kurinji’ and speaks in the voice of the lady to a god, explaining how the man is not to be blamed for her state of mind.
”மன்ற மராஅத்த பேஎம் முதிர் கடவுள்
கொடியோர்த் தெறூஉம்” என்ப; யாவதும்
கொடியர் அல்லர் எம் குன்று கெழு நாடர்;
பசைஇப் பசந்தன்று, நுதலே;
ஞெகிழ ஞெகிழ்ந்தன்று, தட மென் தோளே.
‘Attack him not’ screams the core of this verse! The opening words, ‘மன்ற மராஅத்த பேஎம் முதிர் கடவுள்’ meaning ‘the terrifying ancient god who lives in the burflower-tree in the town centre’, sketches for us, the spreading grounds in a town’s gathering area and an ancient tree that stands on this spot. These words also inform us about the belief of the Sangam people in ancient divine spirits that lived in such trees and how it evoked fear in many minds. Trees seem to have been the starting place of religion and this verse paints a portrait of a ‘Kadamba tree’ as the temple of the said spirit. Returning to the verse, we glimpse at the phrase ‘கொடியோர்த் தெறூஉம்’ meaning ‘punish the wicked’, one of the prominent duties of any divine being. Then, comes the emphatic exclamation ‘கொடியர் அல்லர்’ meaning ‘wicked, he is not’, pointing to words of support to a possible suspect. Thereafter, the parts of a woman’s body that are prone to be attacked by the affliction of pining make an appearance in ‘நுதலே’ meaning ‘forehead’ and the final words of the verse, ‘தட மென் தோளே’ meaning ‘curved and soft arms’, which beckon us within the verse to listen intently to these words of trust!
A rebuking god and a blameless man seem to be standing face to face here! The context reveals that the man and lady were leading a love relationship and at this time, the man promises in the name of a godly spirit that he would never part away from the lady. However, a situation arises such that the man needs to part away to gather wealth towards their wedding. After he leaves, the lady misses his presence and languishes. At this time, a worry creeps up in the lady’s mind and one day, the lady says aloud, “They say, ‘the ancient fear-evoking god that lives in the ‘maraam’ tree in the town centre will punish wrong-doers’. My lord of the mountain country has done nothing wrong! Only because it yearned for him, my forehead is coated with pallor; Only because it wanted him to melt for me, it melted away, those curved soft arms of mine!” With these words, the lady tries to allay the anger of the listening god on the man, by removing all blame on him for the lady’s troubled state.
The lady’s forehead is coated with pallor, her arms are wasting away, and she’s thinking about the man, and so, how can he be blameless? Let’s follow the lady’s words closely to see if we can unravel this mystery. Stating the predominant worry in her head, the lady describes the nature of the godly spirit that lives in the ‘Kadamba’ tree standing in the town centre, in the words of others. People around are of the belief that this godly spirit, which is fear-evoking even in normal circumstances, would cause immense harm to those who do wrong, the lady informs. Then, hastily, she declares that her man, the lord of the mountains, is not a person who would do any such wrong. Why does she worry? Remember how we saw the man promised in the name of that godly spirit not to leave the lady. That’s why the lady thinks that god will be angered because the man had not lived up to his promise. She hopes to calm and divert the ensuing anger in the god by stating that her forehead was coated with pallor because she was desiring the man and her shoulders were wasting away, because she wanted the man to melt for her, and nothing else!
In other words, the lady is declaring to that god, ‘I’m the only person to be blamed’! Her pallor-filled skin or her thinning shoulders should not be attributed to the man, even though it’s him she’s thinking about. Do you notice the subtle nuance in this statement? The lady seems to say, ‘Yes, it’s him I’m thinking about and that’s why pining has attacked me, and yet, it’s me that’s doing the thinking and therefore, he’s not to be blamed.’ These words may be spoken superstitiously to appease a god but they contain timeless lessons in anger management. When in raging anger, when it becomes rather easy to blame someone else for these feelings, if we can pause and say like the lady in this verse, ‘Yes, the other is making me angry but I’m the one getting angry and therefore, it’s my responsibility’, then, without sparking red hot fumes of fury, with wisdom, we can win battles many!
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