Kalithogai 114 – Virtue in a wedding

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தலைவி
வாரி, நெறிப்பட்டு, இரும்புறம் தாஅழ்ந்த
ஓரிப் புதல்வன் அழுதனன் என்பவோ,
புதுவமலர் தைஇ, எமர் என் பெயரால்,
வதுவை அயர்வாரை கண்டு? “மதி அறியா
ஏழையை” என்று அகல நக்கு வந்தீயாய்! நீ
தோழி அவன் உழைச் சென்று.

தோழி
சென்று யான் அறிவேன்; கூறுக மற்று இனி.

தலைவி
‘சொல் அறியாப் பேதை! மடவை! மற்று எல்லா!
நினக்கு ஒரூஉம்; மற்று, என்று அகல் அகலும்; நீடு இன்று
நினக்கு வருவதாக் காண்பாய்’, அனைத்து ஆகச்
சொல்லிய சொல்லும் வியங்கொளக் கூறு.

தருமணல் தாழப் பெய்து இல் பூவல் ஊட்டி,
எருமைப் பெடையோடு, எமர் ஈங்கு அயரும்
பெரு மணம் எல்லாம் தனித்தே ஒழிய,
வரி மணல் முன்துறைச் சிற்றில் புனைந்த
திரு நுதல் ஆயத்தார் தம்முள் புணர்ந்த
ஒரு மணம் தான் அறியும் ஆயின் எனைத்தும்
தெருமரல் கைவிட்டு இருக்கோ, அலர்ந்த
விரிநீர் உடுக்கை உலகம் பெறினும்,
அருநெறி ஆயர் மகளிர்க்கு
இரு மணம் கூடுதல் இல் இயல்பு அன்றே?

Time to explore the nuances. The words can be translated as follows:

“Lady
Even after seeing that my kin are preparing for my wedding by stringing fresh and new flowers, after combing and straightening tresses, hanging low on both sides, will they simply say, ‘Our little boy is crying!’? Please go to his home, my friend, and scorn him saying, ‘You are a pitiable one, who knows nothing!’

Confidante
I will go thither and find out! What else should I tell him, tell me now.

Lady
Tell him, “You are an ignorant one, who does not know to speak up! A fool and everything else! It will slip away from you. It will slip far from you. You will see this happen to you’ – Say all this and much more to make him understand!

It appears as if this great wedding that my kin are about to hold, spreading fresh sand in front of the house, adding red soil, and praying to the female buffalo, might happen without him. Those who have united with their beloved in the lined sands of the shore, filled with small sand houses, built by maiden with fine foreheads, know that their wedding is over. Won’t they be startled and bewildered? Isn’t it well known that even if they were to gain the entire world with the spreading seas, it’s not in the nature of herder women with virtue to accept to be part of two weddings!”

Let’s delve into the details. The verse is situated in the context of a lady’s attempt to persuade a man to marry her. Though this theme is most commonly found in the ‘Kurinji’ or ‘Mountain landscape’, it has been grouped under the ‘Mullai’ or ‘Forest landscape’, owing to the presence of elements from the herder community. These words are said by the lady to her confidante. The lady starts in an agitated tone talking about how her family is preparing for her wedding and asks whether the man’s relatives will say, ‘Our little boy is crying!’, indirectly asking if the man she loves is but a child! She asks her confidante to go there and tell him what a fool he is. The confidante asks what more should she tell him and the lady replies saying the confidante must make him understand that he should speak up, otherwise he is going to lose the lady for sure. Then, she talks about the wedding preparations her family is carrying on with, by spreading fresh sand in front of her house, adding red soil there and then praying to the female buffalo, perhaps a fertility ritual. She talks about another place filled with sands, the river shore, where she united with her man, and declares her wedding with the man was already over, at that moment, She insists to the confidante to ask him, how will a virtuous herder woman let herself be married twice, even if the entire world is offered on a platter! The verse in addition to throwing bright light on the sky-soaring virtue of Sangam women of being true to their beloved, also subtly conveys the culture of a herder community by sketching its wedding customs!