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In this episode, we listen to a mother’s lament, as portrayed in Sangam Literary work, Aganaanooru 369, penned by Nakeerar. Set in the ‘Paalai’ or ‘Drylands landscape’, the verse differentiates two types of wedding ceremonies in the Sangam era.
கண்டிசின் மகளே! கெழீஇ இயைவெனை:
ஒண் தொடி செறித்த முன்கை ஊழ் கொள்பு,
மங்கையர் பல பாராட்ட, செந் தார்க்
கிள்ளையும் தீம் பால் உண்ணா; மயில் இயல்
சேயிழை மகளிர் ஆயமும் அயரா;
தாழியும் மலர் பல அணியா; கேழ் கொளக்
காழ் புனைந்து இயற்றிய வனப்பு அமை நோன் சுவர்ப்
பாவையும் பலி எனப் பெறாஅ; நோய் பொர,
இவை கண்டு, இனைவதன்தலையும், நினைவிலேன்,
கொடியோள் முன்னியது உணரேன், ‘தொடியோய்!
இன்று நின் ஒலி குரல் மண்ணல்’ என்றதற்கு,
எற் புலந்து அழிந்தனளாகி, தற் தகக்
கடல்அம் தானை கை வண் சோழர்,
கெடல் அரு நல் இசை உறந்தை அன்ன,
நிதியுடை நல் நகர்ப் புதுவது புனைந்து,
தமர் மணன் அயரவும் ஒல்லாள், கவர்முதல்
ஓமை நீடிய உலவை நீள் இடை,
மணி அணி பலகை, மாக் காழ் நெடு வேல்,
துணிவுடை உள்ளமொடு துதைந்த முன்பின்
அறியாத் தேஎத்து அருஞ் சுரம் மடுத்த
சிறியோற்கு ஒத்த என் பெரு மடத் தகுவி,
‘சிறப்பும் சீரும் இன்றி, சீறூர்
நல்கூர் பெண்டின் புல் வேய் குரம்பை
ஓர் ஆ யாத்த ஒரு தூண் முன்றில்
ஏதில் வறு மனைச் சிலம்பு உடன் கழீஇ,
மேயினள்கொல்?’ என நோவல் யானே.
In this trip to the drylands, we spend more time back home rather than out in the domain, as we listen to the lady’s foster mother say these words to her daughter, who’s also the lady’s confidante, at the juncture of the lady’s elopement with the man:
“Look at this, my daughter! What’s the point of my close bond with her? Even when many women, wearing neat rows of shining bangles on their forearms as tradition dictates, coax and praise, the red-garlanded parrot refuses to drink up its sweet milk; Her mates, adorned in red ornaments, with the appearance of peacocks, do not partake in play; The pots do not adorn themselves with flowers; The goddesses etched on the sturdy wall, with deep colours, and decorated with pearl strands, refuse to accept any offerings; Looking at all this, my affliction brims over. As if that wasn’t enough, my thoughts torment me about not understanding what was in the mind of that cruel girl, when I said to her, ‘O maiden adorned with bangles! I shall perform the ritual bath on your luxuriant tresses today’, and she seemed to be heartbroken and angry at me.
In tandem with her status, she refuses to wear new clothes in her prosperous, fine mansion, akin to the indestructible, famous town of ‘Uranthai’, ruled by the generous Chozhas, who lead a victorious navy, and get married with the blessings of her kin. Instead, walking through that barren, long path, filled with ‘Toothbrush trees’ having forked trunks, along with her suitable young man, holding a sapphire-studded shield and tall spear with a sturdy stem, with an emboldened heart and courageous strength, my greatly naive girl treads unknown nations through harsh drylands. As for me, thinking, ‘Without any fame or glory, in an empty and barren thatched hut of an impoverished woman in a small hamlet, where there’s but a single cow tied to a pillar in the front yard, she is determined to undertake her anklet removal ritual and marry him’, I suffer endlessly!”
Time to hear a mother’s words of angst! Those who are unaware may wonder as to why the lady has a foster mother. It should be understood that the word ‘foster mother’ does not have the contemporary connotation of a social welfare scheme. Rather, in that era, a woman’s confidante joined the woman’s household and helped the woman raise her children. This foster mother would take care of all of the lady’s daily needs and grooming, and also, her daughter would end up being the lady’s best friend.
With that context established, we can listen to what this foster mother has to say. The foster mother starts by asking her daughter, the lady’s confidante, what’s the use of having a close bond with the lady thus far. Then she goes on to talk about all the changes that have happened in the house. At the moment, the parrot was refusing to drink its milk, even when many maiden coax it, the lady’s playmates refuse to play any more, even pots are refusing to flower, and as for the goddesses etched on the walls in bright colours, they were saying no to the offerings. Seeing the dreary transformation of their home, the foster mother says she’s sad but even more than that, her thoughts keep jumping back to the moment when she offered to wash the lady’s hair and that made the lady angry and depressed. This may confuse you as to why the lady should get so mad about a mere hair wash, like a stubborn toddler or a sprightly puppy! The reason is that was a ceremonial hair wash for a young woman, ready for marriage.
This must have made alarm bells ring in the lady’s mind, for off she went with her beloved young man, wielding a shield and spear, and daring to walk through the barren drylands. The foster mother says how the lady doesn’t seem to want to get married in her wealthy mansion, which is placed in parallel to the rich city of Uranthai, ruled by the sea-faring Chozhas, wearing new clothes and receiving the blessings of her relatives. Instead, the lady seems to only want to get married, removing her anklets, without any pomp or splendour, in an impoverished hut in some remote village, where there’s only one cow tied to the front yard, the foster mother declares, and concludes that this makes her ache enormously! This is the angst of a person who sees what could have been. Though we have seen this theme many times, the verse records the value of a girl in her home and also subtle markers of wealth and poverty in those times!
