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In this episode, we learn of the details in a curious custom of courting, as depicted in Sangam Literary work, Kurunthogai 17, penned by Pereyil Muruvalaar. The verse is situated in the mountains of ‘Kurunji’ and speaks in the voice of the man to the confidante, conveying the probable consequence of her refusal to heed to his requests towards furthering his relationship with the lady.
மா என மடலும் ஊர்ப; பூ எனக்
குவிமுகிழ் எருக்கங் கண்ணியும் சூடுப;
மறுகின் ஆர்க்கவும் படுப;
பிறிதும் ஆகுப-காமம் காழ்க்கொளினே.
‘It would end in… It would end in’ echoes throughout the verse. Right at the beginning, when we glimpse at ‘மா என மடலும் ஊர்ப’ meaning ‘thinking it’s a horse, a palm stem would be rode upon’, we conclude the core of this verse is the ‘Madal eruthal’ or ‘Madal oorthal’ that we experienced recently in Kurunthogai 14. An accessory worn during this ritual is highlighted in the words ‘எருக்கங் கண்ணி’ referring to ‘a garland made of milkweed flowers’. The emotional aspect of the event unfolds in ‘மறுகின் ஆர்க்கவும் படுப’ meaning ‘in the streets, they would be laughed and mocked at’. Ending with the words ‘காமம் காழ்க்கொளினே’ meaning ‘if love exceeds its bounds’, the verse mentions the root cause of this troubling situation and invites our empathy.
Sounds like ominous words from the man! What makes him say these words? The man had met the lady in the mountains and fallen in love with her. The lady too seemed to reciprocate his feelings. However, custom indicated that the man win the confidence of the lady’s confidante before he could get ahead in his relationship with the lady. Hearing the confidante repeatedly refuse his requests in that direction, one day, the man says to her, “They would ride a palmyra stem as if it were a horse; They would wear a garland of milkweed’s pointed buds, as if they were real flowers; They would be ridiculed in the streets; And, face other dire events too. I speak of those in whom, love affliction has taken root and ripened to no avail!” With these words, the man seems to be revealing to the confidante the direction he was heading given her implacable attitude!
Why is the man talking of others to reveal his own path? Let’s listen closely to unravel the reason. The man is talking about the course of action by some people. He doesn’t initially say who they are but indicates only all that would happen to them. First, we see them riding a horse made of palmyra stem as if it were a real one. Next, zooming on to the garland of flowers on their head, we see them wearing milkweed flowers with closed buds. It should be pointed out that the ancients did not consider this flower suitable for wearing, no doubt due to the poisonous nature of the mother plant, called by the scientific name ‘Calotropis’ and found in South Asia and North Africa, known to humans from ancient times. Returning to the verse and to those people riding the palmyra horse, we see how they are ridiculed by the town entire, as they walk the streets. The man adds that is not the worst of it, for these things might drive the person to an extreme end, hinting at death too. So, who is the man describing so? The man reveals that the subject of these events as the people, who are suffering from a love affliction and who have no way of fulfilling their wish to be with their beloved!
Although the man seems to be talking of generic people, he is specifically relating to his own situation, given that the confidante is not relenting to his request to get closer to the lady. Nothing short of a hidden threat by the man, in a determined bid to get the help he seeks from the confidante. Indeed, the whole concept seems bizarre to us, looking at the past with the eyes of the present, but no more than how some of things we don’t pay attention to, will be looked at, by the eyes of the future! Fascinating to wonder about which of today’s relationship practices would invite the same bewildered look from our descendants… What will you place your bets on?
