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In this episode, we perceive a lady’s response to the man’s absence, as portrayed in Sangam Literary work, Kurunthogai 191, penned by an anonymous poet. Set in the forest regions of ‘Mullai’, the verse speaks in the voice of the lady to her confidante, as the friend expressed worry about the lady’s ability to bear with the man’s parting.
உதுக்காண் அதுவே: இது என மொழிகோ?-
நோன் சினை இருந்த இருந் தோட்டுப் புள்ளினம்
தாம் புணர்ந்தமையின், பிரிந்தோர் உள்ளாத்
தீம் குரல் அகவக் கேட்டும், நீங்கிய
ஏதிலாளர் இவண் வரின், ”போதின்
பொம்மல் ஓதியும் புனையல்;
எம்மும் தொடாஅல்” என்குவெம்மன்னே.
‘He cared not’ is the central thought here. The opening words ‘உதுக்காண் அதுவே’ meaning ‘just wait and watch’ sounds like an invitation to observe something interesting about to unfold. ‘இருந் தோட்டுப் புள்ளினம்’ brings before our eyes ‘a huge flock of birds’. In ‘ஏதிலாளர்’, we find a significant word for it means ‘stranger’. Who is being referred to as ‘the stranger’ here? The phrase ‘பொம்மல் ஓதியும் புனையல்’ meaning ‘Don’t caress my thick tresses’ seems an angry command. Ending with the words ‘எம்மும் தொடாஅல் என்குவெம்மன்னே’ meaning ‘Don’t touch me, I shall say’, the verse intrigues us.
A stranger commanded not to come near – That’s a paradoxical statement, isn’t it? The context reveals that the man and lady were leading a happy married life when the man had to part away on a mission. One day, after a while, the confidante worries about whether the lady has the strength to bear with the man’s parting. To the confidante, the lady says, “Just observe what is to happen! What can I say about this? As the huge bird flock resting on strong branches, united with their mates, thinking not about those separated, they cry out with their sweet voices. Even though he heard that, he parted away like a stranger. If he were to come here, I shall say to him, ‘Don’t decorate my thick tresses with flowers and don’t you touch me too!’”. With these words, the lady declares to the confidante that her anger towards the man will help her bear with his parting.
Time to explore the nuances. The lady starts by asking her friend to wait and watch. After that request for the future, the lady’s thoughts meander to the past and she recalls how the bird flock on the branch of a nearby tree were cooing happily to their mates, without any thought about separated lovers. Even as those sweet calls of togetherness resounded in the air, the man had the heart to walk away from her to leave on his journey, the lady says. And so, she calls him, ‘an uncaring stranger’, and switches to the future to say that if he were to return to her, she would ask him not to adorn her hair with flowers and not to touch her either. Harsh words to the returning man, no doubt!
Within that response, there is also evidence that the lady strongly believes that the man will return to her. Even though she has decided to react in anger on his return, the confidante will be assured that the lady will bear with the man’s parting. It’s the same worry in the friend yet again but a different response from the lady saying that her anger will help her sustain the separation. Whether she will follow through on these words to the confidante or whether she will melt when she sees the man after a long gap, it doesn’t matter. Now, her spirit is alive and kicking and that’s all the confidante wants to see. A unique way of reassuring oneself and those around!
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