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In this episode, we perceive an intricate technique of persuasion as portrayed in Sangam Literary work, Kurunthogai 326, penned by an anonymous poet. Set in the coastal regions of ‘Neythal’, the verse speaks in the voice of the lady to the confidante, passing on a hidden message to the man, listening nearby.
துணைத்த கோதைப் பணைப் பெரும் தோளினர்
கடலாடு மகளிர் கானல் இழைத்த
சிறு மனைப் புணர்ந்த நட்பே தோழி,
ஒரு நாள் துறைவன் துறப்பின்,
பன்னாள் வரூஉம் இன்னாமைத்தே.
‘A day’s separation’ is the core theme of this verse. The opening words ‘துணைத்த கோதை’ brings to focus ‘a woven garland’ and stresses on the importance rendered to flowers as decorative accessories. In the phrase ‘கடலாடு மகளிர்’ meaning ‘maiden who play in the seas’, we perceive echoes of a carefree life in the past. ‘கானல் இழைத்த சிறு மனை’ further extends this, talking about ‘the small sand houses built on seashore groves’. Ending with the words ‘பன்னாள் வரூஉம் இன்னாமைத்தே’ meaning ‘the suffering extends for many days’, the verse evokes our empathy.
Separation and suffering raises its head amidst such serene images of sand play. The context reveals that the man and lady were leading a love relationship and the man was trysting with her for a long while. One day, when he comes to meet with the lady, pretending not to notice him, but making sure he’s in earshot, the lady says to the confidante, “Maiden, playing by the seas, wearing well-tied garlands and having bamboo-like thick arms, built small sand houses in the sea shore groves. Here, I united with him, my friend. Even if I part with him but for a day, for many days, the suffering stays with me.” With these words, the lady relays to the listening man that these days of trysting seemed to end in suffering, whenever he went away, and so, for lasting joy, the man must seek the lady’s hand in marriage.
Time to delve into the nuances. The lady starts by bringing such fun-filled images of maiden, bedecked with fine garlands, building sand houses on the shores. Summoning this image only to describe the time and place she met and fell in love with the man, the lady then declares that even if she separates from the man for a single day, days together afterwards seemed to overflow with angst.
Indeed, the time spent with him is joyous but it seems like a tiny oasis amidst the vast desert of separation, the lady laments. Note how it’s not a simple ‘marry me, marry me’ from the lady but a nostalgic call to the moment she saw the man for the first time. Anytime we turn back to the past, it seems to be filled with a tug, a pull, for the memories do have a way of housekeeping such that the rough edges of the past are smoothened and the past looks so rosy and delicious. With that subconscious call, the lady sets the mood for her persuasive words, and then, she puts forth her request not by blaming the man but by saying how she just cannot do without him. An illustration of an effective method of persuasion wherein how essential the change is, is presented, in the backdrop of a pleasant memory.
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