Kurunthogai 401 – On pain and gain

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அடும்பின் ஆய் மலர் விரைஇ, நெய்தல்
நெடுந் தொடை வேய்ந்த நீர் வார் கூந்தல்
ஓரை மகளிர் அஞ்சி, ஈர் ஞெண்டு
கடலில் பரிக்கும் துறைவனொடு, ஒரு நாள்,
நக்கு விளையாடலும் கடிந்தன்று,
ஐதே கம்ம, மெய் தோய் நட்பே!

‘Laughter and loss’ are the two contrasting aspects in this verse. The opening words ‘அடும்பின் ஆய் மலர் விரைஇ’ meaning ‘selecting the beautiful flowers of the beach morning glory’ brings before our eyes, the sight of bright purple flowers that adorn beaches around the world even today. As if one flower was not fragrant enough, another joins in delighting our sense of smell in ‘நெய்தல் நெடுந் தொடை’ meaning ‘a flowing garland of blue lotus flowers’. In the phrase ‘நீர் வார் கூந்தல் ஓரை மகளிர்’ which means ‘maiden who had been playing games on the shore, and who have hair dripping with seawater’, we take in the merry sight of young girls playing without a care. The favourite animal of this poet appears in ‘ஈர் ஞெண்டு’ meaning ‘wet crab’. Interesting to note how the word ‘ஞெண்டு’ has morphed into ‘நண்டு’ to refer to the same crustacean in contemporary Tamil. Yet again, that jubilant expression of joy in the core theme appears in ‘நக்கு விளையாடல்’ or ‘laughing and playing together’. Ending with the words ‘மெய் தோய் நட்பே’ meaning ‘a relationship that arises from bodily union’, the verse welcomes us to explore more.

A verse that resounds with the sounds of laughter and play! The context reveals that the man and lady had been leading a love relationship and the man had been trysting with her for a while. One day, when she has been confined to the house by her parents, the lady says, “Along with chosen flowers of the beautiful beach morning glory, blue lotus flowers are stitched together to make long garlands, which are worn by maiden playing ‘orai’ games, water dripping from their tresses. Fearing these maiden, a wet crab scuttles away to the sea in the shores of the lord. It’s surprising how even a single day’s laughter-filled play with him has become impossible because of the same embracing union that made us one!” With these words, the lady talks about how her decision to unite with the man has brought out unexpected consequences in her life.

What has made the lady so surprised? Let us find out by listening to her words closely. She starts by turning her lens outward at the bright morning glory flowers and she makes us see soft hands moving the leaves aside to select the most beautiful flowers of the lot, and then, those hands move to pick up some blue lotuses from a pond. Then, deftly the two flowers are tied together in a long garland. A moment to breathe in the unique fragrance of these two flower blends, wafting to our nostrils, still fresh after more than two thousand years. Returning, we see the garlands now hanging around the neck of young girls on the seashore, whose hair is dripping wet, indicating that they have been playing games in the water, with abandon. What’s life for, if not to indulge in carefree play, seems to be the thought of these maiden of the past!

While these girls are having all the fun they can, life doesn’t seem so good for the crabs living there, for these frisky creatures are scampering to the seas, in fear of the maiden’s shouts and laughter. Explaining that’s the lay of the man’s land, the lady turns to talk about him, now. More specifically, she talks in an awed tone about how her choosing to unite with him has ended her days of laughter and play with him! To explain why, we need to understand that being together with the man brought out physical changes in the lady’s form, and seeing this, her kith and kin decided to put her under guard. And, so the lady reflects how her happiness in being united with the man has led to the sorrow of losing his company! 

Although the verse seems to talk about specific situations in love relationships of the ancient past, there is one universal thought within, and that is, we often find that when we gain something, we lose something else. Take the case of a person turning 18, there’s gain of many privileges but also the loss of that comfort of one’s needs being taken care by an adult. Again, when a person completes their education and starts work, there’s the gain of financial freedom but loss of those carefree days of endless fun and frolic with friends. Why, even in marriage, there’s the gain of togetherness but loss of independence! And, the subtle thought this verse leaves in us, is that life is a long garland stitched together with the intertwined flowers of such pains and gains, and it’s in our eyes to see the balance, and be with the beauty of both!